Back?

I'm at the laundromat trying to get the laundry done before Porter goes to work (he's out grocery shopping with Aftasie), trying to get my "drug cards" finished before the exam next Friday, and make a little progress on my weekly clinical assignment.

The drug cards are for pharmacology class, which has proven a little easier than pathophysiology! I am enjoying it (never thought I'd say that) and it's going pretty well. Clinicals have actually turned into the funnest part of school. I dreaded them at first but I've gotten much more comfortable with the responsibilities I have and it's fun at times. I go to the hospital once a week and have my own patient for the day. I work with their nurse because there are some things I can't do -- anything IV related, anything related to meds except injections (don't ask me why!).

The clinical assignment takes a lot of my classmates 8-10 hours to do, sometimes longer. I'm not sure how long it takes me but it can be painstaking to list out meds when the patient has 30 of them, and you have to cover a lot of different factors (IE, name, class, action, therapeutic effect, contraindications, life threatening complications, dose, and nursing implications). That can take a LOOONG time. I've discovered, though, that if I work on the more creative part of the assignment first and do meds last it turns out much, much better. Otherwise by the time I'm done with meds and labs I'm just too tired of it to think of good care planning.

Life just goes around and round. I go to school in the mornings, Porter goes to work in the evenings, weekends (which don't always line up on the same days) come and FLY by, and the weeks and months seem to just fly. Aftasie keeps us happy, entertained, amazed, etc., (except when she wakes up Porter with raw eggs in bed that she took out of the fridge, then I'd say it's more like she keeps us on our toes and awake at all hours!)

Checking out the computer. 

One of many messy breakfasts. I remember not caring how neatly I ate! (And some in the house might argue I still don't...)

I dressed her up for halloween.

Always liking to be in the picture and on the computer. 

Porter bought a ball cap and she came to me saying "Hat!" with it on her head like this :) 

She is really something! She is talking in sentences and knows a lot more words than I think. I'm always surprised.

4th Week

It's hard for me to believe this is the fourth week of school that we're finishing up already. Everything is moving ahead at blazing speed. Today I went for clinical orientation at the hospital I'm assigned to. It's pretty exciting! Last semester we were in the lab preparing for 9 weeks; this time for 3 weeks. It'll be pretty great to get out there are start doing nursing stuff. A little scary, too.

I also had a math test this morning, which we have to pass with 100% to proceed. I'm not particularly worried about it because I have passed all of the math tests so far without a hitch (it's mostly basic math, but it's a little tricky setting up conversion factors and we've had to memorize things like how many milliliters are in a teaspoon).

It is quiet in the house for once. Porter is at work and Aftasie went to sleep (she skipped her nap today!). She slept really late and I figured she wouldn't nap, but I had no idea she'd go to bed at 7. If she doesn't wake up in a few minutes I'm going to be holding my breath to see what time she gets up tomorrow. Probably at the crack of dawn :P

Aftasie is wonderfully social. She has been going to daycare 1-3 hours a week because of our schedules overlapping in the afternoon and she has had such a fun time playing there. Today she didn't want to leave! We hung out there together for probably 30 minutes before I insisted we move on home. Then we went to school on the way home to pick something up and we were there for at least another hour. She talked with people, looked at rocks on the ground, ate some food, picked some flowers, and just hung out. She is a fun little girl :)

Well...I'm "free," so homework calls. Just wanted to give a quick update, since I know it's been a while since I've written and it'll probably be a while till I update again :)

Hello, Goodbye!

The first week of school has flown, as usual. Yesterday we headed to the coast and visited a new place, Cape Kiwanda. It was absolutely beautiful! You had to walk past a beach full of cars (yes, they drive on the sand and it was like a parking lot!!) and hike up a huge sand dune to get away from everyone. It was like an anthill on one side, and the people really did look like ants, making their way to the top. The water was absolutely gorgeous and the whole thing was great. It was like the southwest mixed with the ocean -- red sedimented rocks, scrubby brush, etc. I don't know if that's the right way to put it, but that's what it reminded me of. I am flabbergasted almost every time we go to a new place on the coast. I had no idea there was so much variety on the coasts of the US, let alone just a small stretch of Oregon coast. The best part of our coast is that none of it is privately owned. All of it is public access. There are not many places with high-rise condos, either, and the hikes lead you through pristine forest (yes, rugged forest right next to the coast!).

We all came down sick yesterday. Aftasie had already had it, but Porter and I really got it. Runny nose, coughing, lots of yucky dripping in the sinuses and throat :( Poor Aftasie, she has had a difficult time nursing at night. We haven't quite spent all night in the rocking chair yet. Hopefully she'll be a little better tonight. It's been so hard to watch her not be able to latch on properly! I can imagine that this sort of thing puts her at risk for dehydration so we've really been pushing water, and I've been thinking about pumping so she can at least drink from a cup. Thankfully it's a lot better during the day when she's up and about. She is so cheerful.

All Caught Up

It seems crazy that I am approaching the weekend with everything caught up. I'm trying to think of things I'm missing. I did most of my music homework in music class, and am ahead on copying notes for pharmacology (I precopy the powerpoints before class when I can. It helps me retain it much better and is more focused than reading the chapter). I need to read a few more chapters for medsurg, which I have two hours to do this morning. They're not due till Monday, though, so I'll be ahead once I finish those. It's kind of...weird. There MUST be something I'm forgetting.

Ahhhhh!!

I am so upset. The internet at the library is not functioning properly and I've spent half an hour moving  around and playing with settings trying to get it to work. I hate wasting time.

This definitely is not 35k a year quality internet. Where does the money go, anyway?


Furthermore, there is seemingly no good way to print out chapters from the nursing ebooks for carrying around  here and there with me. I really, really dislike Elsevier. A chapter that should only be 30 pages turns out 88 pages printed, and there's no option to print every other page so you can make it double-sided.  Pasting it to Word to print it out results in 132 pages, since the formatting is all off. Changing the font to 9 point brings it down to 72 pages. WHY!? Why?! Why do they need to make us buy eBooks and then make them so useless?

I guess one last resort will be talking with Porter and seeing if he has PDF editing software in which he could make the font size smaller.

100th post!

Not too phenomenal but I thought I'd mention it :)

So, junior year of nursing has begun! It's not too bad, so far. In fact, outside of certain issues I have with the program itself, I am LOVING the material. We are learning things that we will use as nurses. A lot of prereqs, such as A&P and such, are necessary, but now we finally get to see how it all comes together. How would I know what happens to body systems in a dehydrated body unless I had studied A&P and pathophysiology? Now I am learning what to do about it and it makes sense. I think there is a lot from A&P that I take for granted -- doesn't everyone know what erythrocytes do in a hypertonic solution? ;)


I have the mornings for studying. It is great to have a block of time to do homework in. Once I'm home I have to tend to Aftasie and such, so I need to keep up with homework in the mornings so I can be freer in the afternoons. It's so much less stressful than last semester, even at the beginning. I went home between every class and just hung out at home all day. It was fun to do that, but it lead to a lot of stress when exams came up and I hadn't studied at all!


I missed my first voice class yesterday! I was sure it was a Tu-Th class and it turns out it's a Mo-Fr class. Still doable with my schedule, but I'm sad I missed the first one. The instructor is very good and I've been looking forward to taking a voice class with her for a while. It's only one credit, and it'll be good to have an excuse to do some music.

Well, the five-minute rest timer just went off so it's back to the books for another half hour before I go home.

One thing I really want to do this semester is improve my posture. I'm not sure, other than always being aware of it and practicing it. Are there exercises which can help you do that? I've had poor posture for so long I think my muscles are all out of whack and don't want to help me have good posture :( Speaking of posture, I'm sure it will come up in voice lessons and maybe my teacher will have some good advice.

School Starts Monday

I'm pretty ready for it. On the one hand, all I want to do is sleep and not have to do anything but on the other hand I'm looking forward to the structure of it.

Who knows when I'll blog next!! Probably from class ;)

Aftasie vs Back

And my back loses, every time! Today I got a few bouts of excruciating pain from what I think is my sacroiliac joint. I'm not sure that it's caused by a sacroiliac problem but that's what I assume it is. I've had back pain off and on since I was 17-18. I used to carry things that were way too heavy. I wouldn't listen when my dad said "Get two people to carry that!" No way, because I was strong enough to lift it! Sheesh, I remember hauling 90 pound bags of concrete around when we poured the cement in the backyard. That would be killing me now. Poor back. So abused.

It's not constant pain, thankfully. It's like a nerve pinches for a few seconds or minutes. It nearly always brings me to my knees or makes me unable to walk. Sometimes I just have to stand there until it goes away and I can walk again. Bleh. Well tomorrow I'm going to the doctor for a physical and I'm going to bring it up. In the meantime I am just going to stop carrying Aftasie. I have been trying to use gentler motions and have her do all of the work. I make her climb in the stroller, I have her step into the tub, etc etc. Usually I just grab her and swing her around where she needs to go. No more! I have to be proactive about this if I want to make it through this school year (and life!).

I think I have identified what causes it, and that is sweeping, mopping, or shovelling. Anything with that kind of motion that is repetitive. I'm afraid I'm going to have to tell my friend who I clean for occasionally that I can't do her floors anymore :( It's just too risky. What if I get to clinicals and my back is out?

Deleted Post

I started writing a post about my family but I deleted it. My status regarding that is simply sad. So sad. It hurts in the tenderest parts of my heart, and it is unbearable.


So reader, move on to something else, and I am off to study.

Final for Stats

So, my final for stats is due by Friday. I just need to make an appointment with the local Chemeketa Campus.

Here's the kicker (the type of thing I'd be updating FB with right now, if it were still active), we get to take one page of handwritten notes in with us!!!! What madness. I had no idea, and I've never heard of this. I have no worries about that now, really. I just need to write all of the formulas down and any notes I need. And write really small! Good thing I have fine gauge pens :D

Actually, my algebra teacher said we could have an index card for the final but it was at a penalty of several percentage points :P

Precocious Pottying

This summer Aftasie has spent a lot of time out of her diaper, mostly due to trying to combat the yeast.

One side effect is that we're very aware of when she's peeing or pooping. One day a few months ago I said something about myself using the bathroom to pee and Aftasie went right there in front of me on the floor! So we bought a potty chair and put her on it whenever we're in the bathroom. We've caught a fair number of poops because her facial expression makes is so obvious that she's about to poop. The only pee I catch, though, is first thing in the morning and I have to *jump* out of bed with her as soon as she gets up and says hi (she usually says hi many times when she first gets up. Probably many times because we just roll over and try to get more sleep!). Otherwise she pees on the bed. Oddly enough, I've discovered  that if she's diaperless, probably 3 out of 4 nights she doesn't pee at all during the night. If she has her diaper on she's always wet in the morning.

But anyway! Lately she's been saying "Mama! Mama! Mama!" with an intensity when she needs to poop. She wants me to help her on the potty chair. But today, she went in the bathroom BY HERSELF and put herself on the chair and PEED! I seriously couldn't believe it. She's not even 14 months old yet. I thought that maybe once she was two we'd introduce her to the idea of potty training, but if she continues on like this she'll probably be most of the way there by the time she's two.

Well, off I go. I have decided that I will go to bed at the same time as Aftasie tonight and get up early to do homework, instead of staying up late and doing it now. Hopefully she'll stay in bed another few hours after I get up and start getting some work done. She went to sleep about 15 minutes ago now, and if I'm not careful I'll get stuck here till midnight and beyond!

Life is Returning

I slowly feel the life coming back to me. I had a doctor's appointment at 1pm today, and I had to fast for 12 hours before. I was so hungry! And I had not a drop of coffee. I was worried it might affect my blood pressure, as it has been really high for me the past two times they've taken it there. It's usually around 100/60 and this time is was 102 over something, and the past few times it's been 125 and 130 over something (I never remember the second number!).

But anyway. I am sipping iced coffee, eating some food, and feeling much more alive. My headache is even going away. I have definitely developed a coffee habit. I started drinking three cups a morning last semester, because that's how much fits in my mug. It is a ritual that I would have such a hard time giving up. I do feel a lot more calm, however, and it's obvious that it affects my blood pressure.  These days that I'm at home all morning, I usually make 4 cups and drink the whole thing. When Porter is home with me, we usually make 6 cups and he sips on his one cup and I drink the rest!!! Definitely way too much. To help myself, I mixed the beans in our grinder in about a 1/3 regular to 2/3 decaf ratio.

Ah, how to stay calm. One way is to just do things. When I get lost in tasks, I feel a lot less stressed. When I use the pomodoro timer,  I'm not allowed to worry about anything but the immediate task at hand until I stop the cycles to take a major break! At the resting time I walk around and try to think about something totally unrelated. I have another stats exam this week and I have my homework that's due. Those are two very important and related tasks. However, I have done some prioritizing and I need to get prepared for the exam before doing this week's homework (this week is not covered). So I am going to work on prepping for the exam and not worry one whit over the homework. Once I'm done with the exam, I will start working on the homework.

If you think about it, why do anything stressed? You can only do what you can do, and you can't do what you can't do. So figure out how to do what you need to do, what you can change, how to do it, and then do it and don't worry.

One other bit of news on the stats front is that a classmate loaned me a TI83 calculator. I figured that a TI85 should do everything the TI83 does (and it does, I'm sure) but I was ready to tear my hair out trying to figure out some of the functions that the TI83 does at the touch of a button. All of the instructor notes are regarding this calculator and it is SUCH a relief to be able to follow the instructions given for our calculations. That is a big stress off of me.

New Dress!

Usually I buy dresses at the thrift store. I haven't been to the thrift store lately, though, and I rarely find dresses that fit right and are good for nursing in. Sooo, today I pulled out some fabric (that I got at the thrift store for $2.50!) and decided to try to make something. I was going to buy this pattern  but I can't nurse in it. Since I'll be nursing for who-knows-how-long and then some, I figured I should keep looking for a nursing pattern, or make one. 

I have never made anything actually wearable before, so I'm pleasantly surprised by how it turned out. It's jersey, so it's very forgiving. I took lots of measurements and traced it on the fabric with a sharpie and then cut it out. I added two french darts to the front piece, which doesn't show because of the nursing panels in the front. The panels were a little tricky but they're basically just two strips gathered a bit where they attach at the sides of the waist and sewn in at the tops and in front of the arms. Underneath, on the front piece I originally cut, there are two diagonal openings for nursing. To nurse you just lift up the side you want to nurse from and voila. There are some obvious problems, which are that I didn't really know how to finish the arm holes (I just folded over twice and stitched, but it's a little messy).  I also haven't hemmed it yet, so that's just the raw edge at the bottom. I planned for it just above the knee but I cut it long so I could figure out what to do with it. 

I could totally wear this on a daily basis. I need to make a slip, though, because all of the ones I have are inadequate. One is too small now and one just doesn't work -- too short and two flimsy. One problem about jersey and the line is underwear lines, which just need to be avoided at all costs. A proper slip would help prevent that, for sure. 

Since this was pretty simple to make, maybe I'll post instructions sometime. I am SO happy to have a dress I can nurse in. I have another piece of fabric but it's a wool blend and it will have to be dealt with in a more complicated manner. It will probably have to be lined, and I don't know if the panels in the front will work out the same. It will obviously need to be fitted a lot more carefully, and I don't have time at the moment to work it out. And then I will also have to put a zipper in it, which I haven't a clue how to do. Someday, though :) In the meantime, I think I'm going to keep a lookout for jersey or other knits and give this another go.

Aftasie's Yogurt Cone

We haven't given Aftasie ice cream other than a *bite* or two somewhere (I don't remember) and we don't intend to start her eating sweets for a while. So last night when we were having ice cream cones I decided I would line hers with honey Greek yogurt and see what she did with it. She loved it! She got it all over, too, so it's a fortunate thing that we were on the deck.

Right now she's out with the chickens. She LOVES the chickens. When we go out in the morning to take them out of the coop she starts waving when we're about halfway across the yard and says hi to them. Then once we're in the run she patiently walks around trying to pet them, and generally has fun with them. I wish we could have a few chickens, but without one tiny patch of grass, we definitely couldn't. Not to mention the landlord wouldn't stand for it. Our neighbor, who lets us use his yard, already has chickens but they're not an egg laying type. It still is fun to have chickens next door. They make me smile :) 

Rushed, Stressed, Frazzled, Underslept

I don't know if it's just because I've been gone from home for so long, or that it's only two weeks and change until school starts. Or because I've been procrastinating fairly regularly on my stats course.

I feel so frazzled. I hardly know what to do next. It helps me a lot to make lists and then follow them but I haven't made a list for today. I have been doing homework with this virtual egg timer. I do 25 minutes of homework followed by 5 minutes of break. I did probably 6 cycles yesterday and got a lot of homework done. I just get nervous about not being able to learn it, then I freeze, then I can't do anything, and so on. It's even making me doubt my ability to do nursing courses next semester! If only I *pass* this class, I will be happy. The grade doesn't transfer out to GFU so the only stipulation is passing. I have to pass the class, and pass the final, which is 500 points out of a 1000 point scale!

Statistics is just not my thing. I don't want to learn about it. I love math in general but not statistics. It IS boring. I know this because I was just practicing med calculations and I was enjoying it! :)

So, first thing on my list is to finish the rest of my five minute break, do 25 more minutes of homework, and then make a list of things to do.

Too Cluttered

Does anyone ever use the buttons at the ends of my posts? I highly doubt it, and I don't care about being tweeted or liked on FB so I took them off. ETA: Augh. I can't get them to go away. I think they are not removable for this theme. Bummer.

It's beautiful weather in Eugene. Aftasie and I spent the morning outside in the backyard with the chickens. Porter had to go to Salem for job-related stuff. We were going to go shopping for lunch but I realized I left the stroller in the car. I figured we'd just walk and take our time. Then I realized I had left my wallet in the car as well. So we stayed home.

It's not quite hot enough to go to the spray park but I think it will be in an hour or two! It's crazy that a hot weather alert is on for today and tomorrow. Last time we were here it rained and rained.

I'm trying to make last minute plans for school prep, since I only have three weeks left. I just feel like it's coming too fast! One thin I'm going to do is make a few batches of peanut sauce  to put in the freezer. I wish I could find a few other sauces like it that freeze well. It makes such an easy suppper. Cut up some chicken breast and cook in a skillet, take it out of the skillet and add chopped veggies. Add chicken and sauce and put over rice. Delicious!

Any good sauce recipes?

.

I sure wish I were in a band again :\

A rather facebook-y post

A list of artists that I'm thinking about right now that I love: 

• Vashti Bunyan
• Bob Dylan
• The Beatles
• The Who
• The Rolling Stones
• Led Zepplin
• Alison Krauss
• Coldplay
• Kaki King
• U2

Some of these are old friends by now, but most are new. What other music is out there yet to discover? 

Leaving Today!

And the traveling goes on and on. Today I'm leaving to housesit again for a friend. It was so much fun last time and I'm sure it's going to be a lot of fun this time too -- much more fun, because Porter is done with school and not started work yet and this will be a little vacation for us. In all I will have spent a month in Eugene this summer!  Like a dream come true :)

The return trip from Kentucky was uneventful except for the 38,000 feet of descent in around 20 minutes, which was very uncomfortable on the ears. I was surprised not to see everyone else in the plane grabbing their ears in pain. Chewing gum helped little. We got up at 7am (4am PST), drove four hours to Cincinnati, took a one hour flight to Atlanta, had an hour and a half layover, then flew 5 hours to Portland, arriving at 7:15 pm (PST). We ended up arriving home at 9:30pm (PST). It was not so bad, though. Aftasie was happy most of the time and she slept for a few hours on the 5 hour flight. She had fun waving at passengers behind us, and playing with the man who was sitting next to us.

All in all, I was happy with the amount of clothing and stuff I brought. Were I to travel regularly, I would get a wardrobe that worked better. For some reason, the jeans I always wear at home were suddenly too tight, so I couldn't bring those. The pair of jeans I did bring are too tight in the waist generally, but ended up being so big by the end of the trip that they were falling down. The skirt I brought was too small in the waist as well, so I didn't wear it very much. I think I would get a pair or two of pants in a dark color and bring one nice top along with other casual tops. One thing to factor in is the weather. I knew it would be warm enough to go without a jacket but I didn't realize I would be practically drenched in sweat every day. It was definitely not practical to go wearing the same pair of jeans all week, so had I not brought the skirt I would have needed to either bring a second pair of pants to wear while one washed, or planned it so I could wash it overnight, which would mean bringing *something* to wear, whether it be PJs or a robe, while I ran around the house to the dryer and washer.

Leaving Tomorrow

We are going home from Kentucky tomorrow. Time has flown by. I am really surprised by how fast the week has gone. When I get home, I'm housesitting again for a bit and then in less than two weeks school starts! I don't know if I'm prepared. I need to get mentally prepared for it, mostly. The first semester I was very careful to go out and buy all of the supplies I thought I would need - highlighters, mechanical pencils, erasers, colored pencils, etc. Most of them I did end up using, but in later semesters I've needed less and less of all that fun stuff. I hardly used any notebook filler paper last semester because I took all of my notes on the computer or on printed out powerpoint presentations. This semester I would expect to be the same. I really stocked up on filler paper the first semester and I bet we will still be using it when Aftasie learns how to write.

I will be using plenty of notecards, however, since next semester I will be taking pharmacology and memorizing many medications and details about them.

Catastrophic Light Packing Results

are non-existant. Everything has been going fine, even though I only have three shirts. I must say, though, that any ideas of rewearing shirts have completely gone out of the window in this Kentucky heat. The humidity is down to a merciful 66% down from 97% a few days ago. It actually feels cool outside at 80 degrees. 

Homework Emergency

Well, it's not exactly an emergency, but I forgot all of my stats notes at home. And I just realized there is indeed an exam due this week (in two days!) as well as all of this week's homework. I guess I am going to be spending a lot of time in front of the computer. I thought I would have worked on it before this but days have just been flying by.

It has been very hot and muggy here in Kentucky. When we stepped off the plane I instantly felt the muggy air and heat. It is pretty amazing. Last night there was lots of lightening here, and then it poured rain! I stepped into Walmart to pick something up and I heard a thunderous rain on the roof. It was amazing. Nothing like Willamette Valley rain.

Well I guess I am off to remedy the homework situation. :\

Flying Light

I have a chance to try some minimalist ideas on a trip! One of Porter's brothers is flying us out to Kentucky for a family reunion and we will be there for a week. For myself, my list is pretty simple.

• I will wear an outfit for the flight: boots and socks, jeans, tank top and undershirt (I wear something like this this because they work splendidly for nursing!), and I will wear one pair of earrings which will be the only pair along
• 2 shirts
• 2 undershirts
• 1 pair socks (going to wear flipflops most of the time, but I also need the boots)
• 4 pairs of underwear
• 1 skirt
• flipflops
• deodorant
• hair conditioner
• facial moisturizer
• floss + toothbrush
• mp3 player
• a book? I kind of expect to be so busy with Aftasie that there will be no time to read
• laptop (we're just bringing one, and since mine is lighter and more portable I think it will be my mac)
• a purse with my wallet in it, which I will stash in my knapsack for the flight

We are staying in a hotel for a total of four nights of the eight, so I should be able to get shampoo (I'm counting on it!), and Porter is bringing toothpaste so I'm not going to bring any more. I am convinced we might be able to get a complimentary tube at the hotel, but I'm not sure, and Porter definitely isn't into going without toothpaste on my whim :P 

We'll be able to do laundry at Porter's family's house, so I should be good asking to throw in my shirts with someone else's laundry, since I won't have a full load to do even when all of my clothes need to be washed. 

For Aftasie, it's a little more tricky. I'm planning on bringing a knapsack for myself (my "personal item") and bringing a diaper bag as my carryon. I'm bringing a week's worth of clothes for her (yes, they'll get dirty before the week is up but we can do laundry), as well as enough diapers/wipes for the trip. We'll buy some diapers when we get there. I also need to bring her diaper oinments which I'm packing in 2.5 ounce baby jars. I looked over the TSA guidelines and there doesn't seem to be any regulation as to whether the containers are glass or plastic. Everything liquid/gel I'm bringing for her and myself should fit very comfortably in the regulation quart-sized bag. 

For Aftasie I also need to bring a water cup and possibly a bowl, and we're also bringing a bag of assorted snacks that will probably get tossed in my knapsack to bring my bag count down to two including all of our snacks. 

We will also need to bring her carseat, which going to be a pain to carry but necessary if we want to get anywhere on the other end! It also flies free in addition to our regular carryon + personal items, which is very nice.

Aftasie pictures

Aftasie has been growing like a beautiful flower (thought I was going to say weed, didn't you! ;) Since no one will see pictures if I post them on facebook, here are some!

This is while we were housesitting in Eugene

It is hard to take pictures of us together in the camera because she wants to play with the computer

Haha, defending her lettuce from our friend's chickens! :) 

She has gotten pretty good at feeding herself, though it still is a colossal mess. 

Bye Bye Pocket Wallet

Years ago I started using a nifty little grey "wallet" that was essentially just a zippered pouch. It has always been hard to find cards, and cash would just be wadded up between the cards. Over a year ago the zipper broke, which means that besides having to look for every card every time, all of the cards fall out periodically.

4 years ago someone gave me a beautiful (big) red wallet for my birthday. I put it in my closet and forgot about it, because I didn't want to have to carry a purse everywhere and this wallet definitely is not a pocket wallet. Every time I've purged I've hung on to it because it's so nice, and I thought I might use it someday. The day has come! I've realized that I almost always carry a purse or bag around anyway because I can't fit everything gracefully into my pockets anymore (keys, wallet, etc). So I'm preparing to say goodbye to my trusty old broken zippered pouch.

For now, I'll be slipping the wallet into either my casual orange bag or my black purse that I reserve for less casual situations. In the future, I want to have a multipurpose small leather purse that can be used for wallet and essentials whether I'm wearing jeans or a dress. I think a key to making it work in all situations might be having two shoulder straps - a long one and a short one. I don't like wearing a bag that can't be put across my body for ease of carrying but I also don't think it seems appropriate for dress wearing. I'd rather have a short strap for that to just go over one shoulder. I guess even better would be an adjustable strap, but who knows what I'll find.

Goodbye old wallet, in with the new. (I know it's a horrible picture, but what's better, bad pictures or no pictures?)

Budgeting Time

I have been pretty excited about getting our budget worked out for when we have more predictable income, but it struck me that there is another thing that we have a limited amount of and must manage and that is time. Unlike the disparities between the spending capabilities of the rich and poor, everyone has the same amount of time, and furthermore, everyone must use it all.

I have never been taught how to effectively manage my time. My later teenage years seem to be a blur of hanging out on the internet, working a few hours a week (and complaining about and dreading my two-hour "work days") and doing projects with the family. That's not to say I wasn't taught how to work. On the contrary, I think my dad instilled in us all a very strong work ethic and I think about that every time I find myself meticulously picking things up off the carpet (my dad was big on picking things up off the floor. I do vacuum, but sometimes it's faster just to get your fingers out and pick up the 20 pieces of food on the carpet. I personally think I'm very good at picking crumbs up off the carpet :).

But work without managing your time can be pretty ineffective. I remember having great lists of family projects but not getting much done because everything was so important we couldn't pick one thing to start with and finish. It would be so incredibly stressful to have deadlines because we had a hard time meeting them. I remember putting cabinets in the bus at 9pm on the day we were leaving for our first bus trip. Yes, we did do a lot of work on the bus, but I think we could have been more efficient at our work and part of that would have been organizing our time better. That would have lead to a lot less stress when push came to shove.

But I digress, this is not about how I used to manage my time, this is just an example of something I personally need to work on and pay attention to. My time management is definitely better, mostly due to the necessity of having a large school workload on top of having a family, but I think it could be better.

What are ways you manage your time? Do you have a schedule? The idea of a schedule appealed to me at one time but then I found I never stuck to it and I never accurately scheduled the time I needed to get things done. 

A Family Again

Porter just finished training to be a CNA (certified nursing assistant). It should be a *lot* easier to find work now, since there is pretty much always a need for CNAs. Not too many people want to clean up after people who can't take themselves to the toilet.

So today started off kind of slow, at 7:30am, because Aftasie woke us up. Porter made breakfast and coffee, and then we got ready for the day and worked on some projects and then he took Aftasie out with him to do errands. I have so missed having time like this. We have been very privileged to have plenty of time as a family. I shouldn't say "privileged" as in it was just a random occurrence. We've chosen not to pursue jobs that would require us to be spending long hours at a job. We have chosen to live with a lot less than we could have. It is true that the no-work situation lately is not one I would have chosen, but it's worked out OK nonetheless. Also, we are in a unique time where I spend all of my time at a "job" that I don't get paid to do -- school, and of course lately Porter has been in school as well. It will be much easier to maintain a part-time working schedule and do OK financially when we can both contribute to the money-making.

I was musing on all of the things we already do simply. Porter is practically a minimalist. I have always been amazed at his small collection of possessions. Things I would have had a *really* hard time parting with he seems to be able to look at rationally. Case in point, when I got married he had a super-cool vacuum coffee maker. I complained about it once I started working early in the mornings because it takes a little longer than a drip pot. So he found a really nice drip coffee maker at the thrift store and he just got rid of the vacuum pot. Just GOT RID OF IT. I was so shocked. Even now I feel sentimental over it. It was such a neat way to brew coffee and, well, I still feel nostalgic for it and I hadn't even been acquainted with it as long as he had. But what were we going to do with two coffee makers, especially in our tiny studio? Sigh.

Another thing coffee related is that we own a Moka pot. It is a small pot that can be used to make a type of espresso-like coffee (the pressure is not near what a commercial machine could produce). I had gotten a biggish espresso maker at a yard sale for $4, which I was pretty proud of. But then I found the Moka pot at a thrift store, which I had been looking for for a long time, so I  snatched it up. It took a little while to realize that we didn't need both, and I decided on the Moka pot because I love them so much. One more thing I could add to the coffee collection is a milk steamer, but I don't know how I feel about that. I haven't really researched how big they are. But it would be very awesome to be able to froth/steam milk at home and make our own lattes. EDIT: I did some research and I think there might be ways to froth milk that don't involve a device, such as this method. I drank all of the coffee in the pot but I might have to make some more and try this!

But enough about coffee! Other things I feel are simple that we do is we have no debt other than my student debt (boohoo), we have no TV (and obviously no cable/satellite), no car payments, we make our own beer, cider, and some wine, and Porter makes marvelous bread. *Marvelous.* We have been planning on getting rid of the internet at home for a good long while now, but we've had a contract that would have been very expensive to break. It will be up in about a month and then it's going bye bye. It seems as though it'd be easier to get my homework done with internet access at home, except for the fact that I get a lot more done when I am focused. A distraction-free internet environment is available 2 blocks away at school. And there is no comparison when you compare the time I spend wasting online at home with the internet vs the time I could have been spending at school doing homework and getting things done.

I am feeling very optimistic about having to spend less time with my possessions during the school year. I just need to figure out a good system of keeping school stuff organized, both my papers and whatnot and also all of the tasks to do. I haven't missed any assignments yet but I tend to procrastinate when I can. I also tend to just be doing homework ALL of the time. I need to concentrate the homework time so I can just take time off and hang out with my family and not always be fretting about the paper I was supposed to have been working on all week.

If you think that you need more than you need, how much do you actually need?

I was thinking about having stuff. Nice stuff. Lots of nice stuff. How much do I realistically want?

I was thinking about Elizabeth's comment about having a few bins of quilting and sewing stuff and it an idea. I was working on solutions to my own sewing problem (I have a few bins myself!). First I threw out all of the scraps that were pretty useless -- mostly scraps from tee shirt projects. That brought me down to one and a half bins. Then I folded all of the fabric neatly and utilized an empty drawer for all of the sewing accessories, such as patterns and thread. I thought maybe if Elizabeth threw out the scraps, she'd have less to deal with. But then it occurred to me that maybe it is all large pieces of high quality fabric. And then I thought of the much larger stash of nice fabric I used to own. What if I suddenly became the owner of a lot of nice quilting fabric? Say, 20 boxes full? Not scraps, but yards full of nice fabric in colors I liked. 50 boxes? A storage unit full? A boxcar full? If you are a quilter, then it's a lot different than if you're me, because I just don't quilt very much at all.

I cannot possibly use 20 boxes of fabric in the next year. I probably wouldn't even touch it once. I just don't have the time. Wife-mommy-student-hood is about all I can get done. I would probably salivate over the fabric, imagining what could be done. But I probably wouldn't touch it. It would take a lot of space to store, though.

Let me illustrate with someone that's a little harder to question, because these are actually necessities. Say I have 7 pairs of dress shoes, all very nicely made and that fit. My mind balks at first thinking I'd never be able to afford such a thing, or be able to find that many different kinds that I'd truly love. Then I think wow, I would really love that if it really did happen. And then I think that perhaps someday I *will* have the resources to buy that many good shoes. So what will I do?

I only dress up once in a while. I might start wearing pumps on a daily basis if I could find really good ones (and could afford them), but dressy shoes might only get worn once a week, if that often. Let's say twice a week for good measure. I only have a a few dressy clothes, and I think black would go with most of them. I'd wear some kind of white dressy sandals in the summer. Let's just throw in a dressy colored pair, maybe red. So I'd need three pairs of dress shoes, to be generous, and they'd last at least several years with that little use.

What would I do if I became the owner of 20 beautiful, fabulous dress shoes? 30? 40? 50? 100? They absolutely wouldn't all be worn. If this sounds like a modest estimate, what about 1000? There must be a limit to how much I use, and then there must be a limit to the excess as well. 

Same goes for any other clothes or shoes or ANYTHING. If you think that you need more than you need, how much do you actually need? What's the limit? What you can store? Beyond what you can store?

Obviously, there has to be a balance, but owning too much is draining. How do you find the balance? How do you decide that you have enough of something?

Minimalism

Minimalism seems to be a hot topic everywhere. The forums I visit and the blogs I read seem to mention it fairly often. I did a little googling and found some interesting blogs. The latest is Zen Habits.

Now, I come from a family of collectors. I had SO much stuff before I left home that I can't believe it now. Just the thought of having to deal with it makes me nervous. All of the clothes and shoes, all of the little trinkets, the everything. I didn't really do much with it, either. I wore the same jeans over and over again, and I used probably 20% of the hundred+ tee shirts. I couldn't find a lot of stuff, too.

When I moved out, as I've said before, I took very little. I started out with a knapsack full of clothes and went back for 100 pounds of stuff (two big duffel bags). I also shipped a few boxes of books. And that was it. The only thing I pine for is a pair of peach/pink ballet flats that match one of my now-favorite dresses. I should have taken them with me. But that's pretty much it. I don't think about anything else I used to own and want it. In fact, I don't really think about it at all.

After I moved out, Porter and I lived in a small studio apartment for a long time. I had a desk and nightstand (prefurnished) my bike, some books, "enough" clothes, and a few other items. Not much, because I only had half a room to stash my stuff in. At one point I had to store my bike inside, so you can imagine how little I owned (there was a bed in the room, too). I didn't even have a car. The transportation system in Eugene was good enough that there really was no need. We rented a car occasionally when we needed to go somewhere off the beaten path.
Then we moved to a one-bedroom, and I bought some furniture. Now I have a lot of stuff. Probably more than when I moved out, though it's all spread through the house so it doesn't look like as much. It's also more varied. I "own" things like dishes and a dining room table now rather than 50 pairs of jeans. There are also baby things -- the toys, diaper accessories, etc. I don't want to keep expanding as we live in bigger places!! If I only need three pairs of shoes, why would I get more if I had more room for them? If I only need ten shirts, why would I have more? I guess there's a chance that I wouldn't be able to afford to replace them if one got worn, but thrift stores tend to be pretty inexpensive. I could probably replace a shirt for less than $3, and a pair of sneakers (if it came down to that!) for under $5. 


I really dig this minimalist idea. I don't like the idea of saying "I'll only own 100 items" but I do like the idea of only having what I need and not having to deal with the excess. There are a few sticky things to deal with right now, like maternity and too-small clothes. Am I going to be pregnant again? Probably. Am I going to lose the rest of the baby weight? I hope so! I'll probably be this size again after the next baby, as well.

This morning I was at the discount grocery store that also has kitchen items. I saw a pretty green Contigo mug. I already HAVE a Contigo mug, which is red. But this one was green, and was a design I see other people at school with. Immediately my subconscious started thinking of justifications for buying a new mug. I didn't even have the money to buy it, but I started trying to come up with reasons to be unhappy with my nice red mug. WHY? WHY? WHY? Why do I think I need to buy something new when the old works perfectly and I like it just fine (I even like the color red!)?

What do you think? Why aren't we happy with what we have and what works? Why does it feel "good" to buy something and acquire more than we used to?

Sick

I have not been notably sick for a long time. I can't remember, for instance, the last time I had the flu. I don't even remember the last time I got a cold. A few days ago Aftasie had a fever of about 100 F for about a day. Then I started feeling funny. Not really bad, just funny. I knew I was getting something.

And yes, I have something! Not really really miserable, only a little miserable. Digestive ailments that I won't mention, a cough, a runny nose. Not my idea of fun in the blazing hot summer, but at least I am not nauseated! I can hardly believe it. Happy me :)

In between blowing my nose, I've been looking at my school schedule for the next two semesters. It is going to be tough, no way around it. But I've also been realizing that they adjust things for the extra clinical load. For instance, this semester we only had 6 hours a week of clinicals, but a fair number of other classes besides nursing. Next semester we'll have 8, and about the same amount of other studies, but after that semester the class load goes down as clinical load goes up. Our senior year, for instance, we'll be doing 30+ hours of clinicals a week, but only nursing classwork. I don't think it will be easy, per se, but it won't be the same class load as now PLUS a quadrupling in clinical hours.

*achoo*

Oh, and the other day I went to the doctor for the first time in who knows how long. About a week ago bump appeared on my knee, and it grew pretty quickly to larger than a quarter in diameter, and kind of spongy and a little inflamed. Naturally, the speed at which it grew concerned me, so I got an appointment for a few days later. By the time the appointment came it had started to shrink and I was a little embarrassed to be in the doctor's office. And of course I had a mask on, because I really was sick, and I explained I wasn't really there for the same reason I was wearing a mask.

But anyway, to cut to the chase, she took one look at the bump, palpated it, asked a few questions, and pronounced my knee to have a case of bursitis. Not a bad one, obviously, since it's on its way out, but she said to watch out for how long I kneel for, and to be aware that they can get quite large but are not serious.

Budgeting and a Bizarre Phenomenon

For a long time I have thought keeping a budget was impractical. There are too many things to keep track of. And why not just spend as little as possible?

There are two reasons that doesn't work, and those are a., we actually have to buy certain things that I tend to not want to buy, but we need to, and b., I'm not single and childless anymore. I can't eat homemade gorp for a week and count on that being my only expense.

I'm intrigued by cash budgeting. It seems so simple once you've got everything straightened out. There are still hundreds of things that we spend money on every year, and I'm not quite sure how to deal with longterm expenses (this summer, unexpectedly, we replaced our tires, distributor, and wheel cylinders, which I certainly did not anticipate), and things that we buy maybe once a year. I also find it daunting to figure out how much we spend on things to begin with. How many rolls of paper towels do we go through? I don't even know how many diapers we use a month, I just buy them when we're out. How often do we go through shoe polish? I have NO clue.

I'm definitely going to give this a go.

________________

Now for the bizarre phenomenon, I keep finding blogs and pages by people who are near me. Is that weird, or what? I was looking for budgeting info and came across this blog about budgeting and it turns out I recognize the corner of her library card in her wallet (same as mine!) and then I dig a little further and she really is quite close to where I live (an hour away). I found this blog about yogurt making  and she says "Oh, and, if you are local (Willamette Valley, Oregon), and want some of my starter, I am happy to share. Let me know." Which is exactly where I live. Do I just happen to be looking up things that local people are involved in? I suspect google may have something in their search engine that includes location. 

My Glasses Broke

One pair wore out, so I traded parts to make a second identical broken pair work. I was playing with Aftasie on the floor and she accidentally kicked them and they broke!! So I'm reverting to an old pair I've never really worn. I am a little peeved that they look so, fashionable. They look fashionably unfashionable, that is. I do NOT understand the huge plastic glasses frame craze. But what the heck. I want hair like Roger Daltry (not really, but kind of). So I kind of understand. But I don't, and I don't really want to be a part of the big glasses trend.

My hand is to hide the shelf that is disorganized at the mo. (But you could pretend I'm waving at you, if that makes you feel better. It makes me feel a little better).

Here's a little gem

"...but it is apparently subjective otherwise there wouldn't be a debate."


My mind breaks. Breaks. 

It's Been Less than 24 Hours

But I already feel pangs of "Uh oh." Facebook is an empty place for me now, and I imagine it as a quiet, desolate place that was usually full of people having a good time. I feel a little bad, because I shooed them all away.

The right way to see it, though, is for what it is. I picture me, sitting at the computer, looking in on the posts that other people sitting at their computers posted for all of their other friends who are sitting at computers to see. Occasionally there are some phone people. They should make me sadder than anything else, because they're actually out and about doing something (hopefully).

So, contrast that to me being out. Actually out with someone! Telling them news that I have, or something I did the other day. I've gone out with exactly zero people for coffee this summer. I could have made a point to have, say, a different nursing student (who I'm going to be working with all school year!) over for coffee each week and actually have a conversation with them, instead of just reading their short, public facebook posts. I could have set up play dates with people from the library. I could have volunteered at a friend's farm.

Not to say this is impossible in the presence of facebook, but they would be a lot more attractive to me without the socialization of facebook and the internet. I would be more motivated to do it. It's like ice cream, or something. It's ok if you eat it sometimes, but if it makes you too full to enjoy a full range of food, it's really bad for you.

Here's a question for you. I'd love comments on it. If someone never contacts you outside of facebook (no email, no phone, no in person), are you really friends? No facebook messaging, either. Just watching and commenting on each other's statuses. Not because they can't message you, they just don't. There's nothing for you to say to each other in private.

I don't know what to make of it. What is it? Is it really friendship, but just a public, distant friendship? Do you even care about each other? Why don't you ever contact each other outside of facebook?

And speaking of which, what is a friend, anyway? 

Garlic Scapes

So for a while I thought these were called snapes, which sounds a lot cooler than scapes, but scapes they are. Garlic scapes, that is. They are the tops of garlic plants and apparently only available a very short time of the year. We are going to eat them in stirfry tonight. They are said to taste like bright, fresh garlic. I would love to grow garlic sometime. It seems like every time I've tried the bulbs rot. I wonder why? Overwatering? I really have no idea, but it sounds so good to have fresh garlic from a plant you grew. And if we end up liking scapes a lot we could have those from the plant too.

We have been in Eugene housesitting (Aftasie and I) and we have been having such a great time. Except that it's been rainy and cool. Typical Oregon summer, ehem. It was raining when Aftasie was born last year, so I'm not really surprised. Maybe we'll have a long summer, which of course Porter and Aftasie will be able to enjoy while I'm in school :P

Speaking of which, I'm surprised how much I like the Willamette Valley, where we live. I really do love most aspects of the northwest. There are some, um, personality differences between me and the West Coast in general, but I do love it up here in beautiful Oregon. I am even finding I like the rain. There is nothing, as far as I know, like our coast here, and the beautiful verdant forests. The forest really does look like this. 
(I just realized you have to scroll down to the next picture. Won't let me link directly).

Not So Easy to Return to Facebook Now!

I just finished deleting all of my "friends" from facebook. There is nothing there for me to see anymore.

I am really relieved. On the one hand I have a feeling of loss. But I can't wait to try to reconnect with people in a different way. If I am lonely, perhaps I will have to just walk up to a random person on the street and say "I've deleted my facebook page. Will you say the equivalent of a wall post to me? I will say I like it and we can walk away from each other."

Chickpeas are a wonderful canvas

For salads, that is. I made a big pot of chickpeas the other night and made hummus (chickpeas, olive oil, garlic, salt and pepper and a little water blended in a blender) and there were plenty left over. So I made a salad of chickpeas, chopped onion, olive oil, balsamic vinegar, a squeeze of fresh lemon juice, a little hummus, Italian seasoning and some chopped up sweet peas. Delicious and very nutritious. The chickpeas pack the protein in (lean protein, too!) and you can't go wrong with veggies and olive oil! I had a piece of bread with it last time to make it a nice complete protein. 

And on to the mozzarella! 

Here the milk is heating to 55 F, then citric acid is added

It's just a wee bit curdled here. At 90 F you add rennet (only a 1/4 tsp!)

Then it is heated to 100 -105 F. This is on its way there and you can see it's very curdled.

Scoop the curds out of the whey (the clear liquid) and microwave them. This heats it up so you can knead it. You could do it in the whey, but I don't have gloves and it is too hot to handle without gloves so it's easier to microwave and knead with kitchen utensils. I ended up dumping it on the counter and using a spatula.  

You can see it's getting to be one mass

And even though I saw it happen at my friend's house, I really can hardly believe that it actually has turned to cheese. 

And here are "cheese sticks," cooling in a cool water bath.
 I am a very poor cheese shaper! But hopefully I'll get better
if I do this on any kind of regular basis. 

Making Mozzarella

Also some exciting news. I am defriending everyone on facebook. It's not because I don't like any of my friends on facebook. I think it will be a better option for "deactivating" the account rather than just "pausing" it. I have been thinking about my life before facebook and I am frustrated with all of the time that is lost to the internet. If you spend, say, 3 hours a day online, you are spending an entire 24 hours on the computer every 8 days. Even if you only spend an hour a day, that's an entire day out of a month. 12 FULL days a year sitting in front of the computer. Of course, I rarely spend only an hour online a day.

And now I am making mozzarella here in a few minutes, thanks to a friend of mine here in Eugene who showed me how to do it and sent me home with some rennet and citric acid!! So exciting. It turned out wonderfully at her house and was absolutely delicious.

Away Again

From FB, that is. I really wish I would just stay away. How I wish facebook would delete everything permanently. I guess I could do it myself -- unfriend everyone and delete as many posts as I could. I don't know :\

But anyway, here I am back from silence-ville! I've been having a great summer so far. I can hardly believe it's almost halfway over. I can't believe school is starting again in August (the last week of August)! Halfway through seems so good and so bad. Already halfway through and only halfway through.

Whoo...

Last last week of my sophomore year of nursing school. Two years down, two to go.

My brain is really just shutting down now. I have one more final tonight that I am starting to cram for now. I'm not very concerned about it but I can hardly say my sentences straight.

Two immediate goals of mine are to sleep and clean. I am going to actually organize and work on the stuff that I basically just dumped into the house when we moved in March.

Then go to the coast for day trips!

Long term goals are more school-related things, like take an online class and CLEP some classes. I'm not going to worry about that for about a week, though! :)

Two Thoughts

(And on a sidenote, I'm about a week from the end of the semester! Yay :)

1. I think my relationship to clothes is a lot different than it used to be. It used to be that clothes were dispensable. I got them cheaply (or for free), and collected pretty much as many as my room would hold. Nowadays my clothes are things that I wear over and over again, and I wear a good percentage of my clothes every week. I have gone from about 40 shoes to 5. I've still got more to get rid of, but I feel a sense of victory in that my relationship with them has changed.

2. I can't remember. I was getting really annoyed withs someone at a forum and I thought - Ah, I'll post a little note in my blog about my frustration. But now I can't remember what it was! Good thing I didn't post inflammatory remarks. How silly would that have been, to rile up someone over something I don't even remember :P

Well, anyway, at the end of this semester, which ends in about a week (plus finals), I'll be a junior, technically. Pretty crazy for me to think about. I'll be halfway through this leg of my education. (I say "this leg" because who knows, really, what's ahead? And education should never be finished...)

Bad Test

Wowee. I feel so awful. I hadn't really studied for my last patho exam. It is SO stressful. Normally I really enjoy tests. I love them! I love going in on test day, and being confident. But I hadn't studied. Not fun. Not good. Not even remotely enjoyable. I can understand why some people hate tests.

Next time I'm going to do better. I have to. It's not a matter of passing, because my grades so far could allow for even a failed test, but it's a matter of saving my student-self! I love school. I just don't have enough time to do everything. Prioritize, prioritize...

So, anyway. I feel awful still. Like I ran someone over or something (well, not THAT bad). It's so disrespectful to the teacher, too. Blah.

Aftasie and I :) 

Pictures of Aftasie

Aftasie is about eight-and-a-half months old. A friend came over and let us borrow her van while she watched Aftasie (and took pictures!) while we packed up some of the stuff we still had left to move (Thanks Sarah! :). 

So determined! I think she was trying to grab Sarah's phone :D 

Week...I forget what week we're at.

There are five more weeks of classes left, though!

We moved last weekend. It's a much bigger place, and it is so nice! Everything is still pretty much piled up, but it's starting to look like home (especially after Porter put things back on the fridge - pictures, postcards, etc). I'll have to take pictures and post them.

Aftasie is nearing 30 inches and 30 pounds. It's incredible how much she's grown. I can't carry her around all of the time anymore. She needs to learn how to walk :)

Oatmeal

I have eaten steel cut oats for three days in a row. Once for breakfast and twice for lunch. Yum yum! It's a Cook's Illustrated recipe that has you toast the oatmeal in butter till golden brown, then cook for about 30 minutes till it's thick and yummy. Really yummy. I put raisins on it. 

Sorry it's backwards! That is thanks to Photobooth being like a real mirror. 

Week Six

Ah, Monday again. It's crazy how fast it happens. I hardly notice Mondays, though. They just come and go before I know it. It's a full day; 2 hours of nursing class plus 1+ hours of lab, one hour of pathophys and a 2.5 hour night class. Tuesday is no classes, so I'm home with Aftasie and try to balance home work with hanging out with her. Wednesday is clinicals day, so 6 hours of clinicals plus pathophysiology in the afternoon. Thursday is no class until night, then I have a 2.5 hour night class. Friday is 2 hours of nursing and an hour of patho. Not bad. Last Friday I didn't even know it was Friday. In fact, I was shocked it was Friday. No wait, that was the Friday before that, because the next Friday I remarked "Wow, it's Friday again already!"

Well, anyway, the days are all melding into weeks and I barely remember when I did things. I know I have a big quiz Wednesday, so tomorrow's priority is studying for that. Then immediately following that I have to start studying for an exam Thursday night, for which I plan to cram (yes, it works for certain classes and I'm trusting that nutrition will be one of them!). I have a Bible class project due next Monday for which I've done no work at all (but it isn't very involved). Then I know Health Assessment midterm is coming up someplace, but I'm pretty up-to-date on studying for that since it's a nursing class. Then a patho test on the 27th, for which I'm also keeping up pretty well. But one thing at a time! I know I need to start hitting the skills part of Assessment class more, which will be tested at the end of the semester, but I'm not going to do much till after Thursday night's test. Aftasie is an excellent subject to practice examinations on, by the way! I did a lungs and thorax and heart assessments on her half a dozen times this afternoon and she thought we were playing :)

And that was all probably super-boring. No one wants to hear another's schedule laid out in so much detail. But there you have it. My school life right now.

Week Five

I keep blogging by weeks of school!

This week I figured out that I feel a lot better when I'm all caught up on studying. It's worth the extra hours of study, it's worth the fewer hours of sleep. I'm not really caught up yet, but where I've gotten so far feels pretty good.

I haven't printed out my wall calendar yet! I know there are exams coming up fairly soon but I'm not sure exactly when. That's going to be fixed this afternoon. I have a regular, every-day events calendar up, so it hasn't been a priority.

Also on the priority list: laundry. I actually have laundry in the laundry bag that I still haven't folded from last week, but I'm out of clothes! We vary on who does the laundry. Whoever gets around to it, mostly.

It really comes down to priorities and relaxing. There are some things that just aren't important, and you can't get away with no relaxation/sleep. So yeah, there are a few dishes in a stack at the moment, and there are toys all over the floor in the living room. But the baby is asleep and I'm going to work on homework so we can play together and go do laundry when she gets up.

Someday life will be more relaxed. Maybe :)

Week Four

I've made it to week four of nursing school.

So...yes, it's a lot of work. Yes, it's hard. But it's not really THAT bad. I spend a lot of time complaining about it, as Porter can attest to. But it isn't that bad. It's doable. I'm still figuring out how to study for it, and what methods work for me.

Today I'm home with Aftasie and I was going to take her to the baby storytime at the library, but she went down for a nap shortly before and I don't have the heart (or guts!) to wake her. :( Next week, I guess. In the meantime, I'm going back to studying so I have something done when she wakes up, and then we can go shopping :)

Sewing and Weightloss.

Sewing.

Today is my homework day. On the days I'm home with Aftasie, I hardly get any done. I usually have a few HW projects planned for naptime, and the rest of the time I try to do projects or play with her. Sewing, for instance, takes a lot less concentration than homework. So this week I did two projects. A cape/hat and a gnome hat. They both turned out OK. The cape is double-thickness, and I wish I had time to put together a tutorial because it was so easy and it works perfectly with a medium-sized sweater. The gnome hat was a little more freestyle and I didn't really know how to edge it, how to make the brim. It ended up turning out good, but I kind of wish I had made it double-thickness too. I also made a pair of woolen pants for her that need some altering -- they're too big. But this post is because I really want to sew today and I'm not supposed to! I mean, imagine all of the things I could make! Bah.

Pink cape. It can go under her jacket so there are no open spots.

With the brim back. It was hard to get good lighting! 

You can see how the brim is tacked up for a few inches on the sides to keep it out of her face when down.

Weightloss.

As some of you know, I gained almost 70 pounds with Aftasie. I lost weight at the beginning, from nausea and vomiting, and then ate, and ate, and ate. So I was hovering near 192 when she was born, probably a little more due to last minute water retention. And I'm only 5'4"! After all was said and done, I settled at 172. I thought it would come right off. Haha. Not. At the end of the year, I decided I really needed to do something about it and I was going to try eating(snacking) clean again (IE, lean protein and complex carbs 6x/day). I found a website by one of my favorite exercise/eating gurus, Skwigg, that is called Happy Eaters and posted about my wanting to get back to clean eating. In reply, most of what I got was "clean eating is a scam!" I discovered that there is another way to think about eating! Now I hate to sound all revolutionary and all, because that hardly ever lasts, but I think I could do this. In fact, I think this is how I ate before I gained all of my weight, when I was still a teenager.

So, basically I don't eat anything unless I really want it, and I don't pig out at meals. I snack if I *really* want to, and I eat chocolate, drink beer, eat vegetables, fried foods, restaurant food, coffee with cream, etc. And I've lost 8 pounds in about 3 weeks. Yes, I am hungry between meals! Yes, I sometimes skip breakfast! But I don't think there is any other way for me to do it. Do I really want to cut out the cream in my coffee so I can have more for breakfast, or so I can have a snack? No. Do I want to swear off chocolate? No. Do I want to cut out carbs, and eat no-fat? No. Do I only want to eat egg whites and protein shakes? No!!!! I'd rebound from that with a huge pig-out fest.

I'd rather have three (or two) squares with butter and bread than choke down fatless, proteinacious food 6x/day. And I will totally skip ice cream for a drink, or not have dessert if I ate a lot of supper.

I could totally eat this way for the rest of my life. I know that I can have delicious food for supper, or have a bagel for breakfast, or a big pasta dinner. I know I can have cake (or ice cream!) and eat chocolate and peanut butter every day. I can eat whatever Porter cooks for dinner without worrying about how fatty it is, or how much I'm eating (though I try not to overeat and eat past full). I just eat less for lunch, or eat less the next day and it all adjusts out to eating at a deficit.

I mean, think about it. If you want to lose weight and still be happy, do you cut out the chocolate, or do you cut it in half? If you cut everything you're eating in half, you'd lose a ton of weight. I would never be able to last on drastic "I can never eat that again!" And also, maybe instead of cutting down half, cut down a quarter. Just a little bit off of all the food you eat *will* result in weight loss.

Oh, and I haven't been working out. I know I should, but I "don't have time." I choose to do other things at the moment. This summer maybe I'll do more exercise. But only if I really want to. I want to be in shape so I can move properly. I get heart palpitations now if I move too much! Eep.

If you're in the same position I am and want to lose weight, try two things (I'm going to keep these in mind too!):

1. Do not eat anything you do not really enjoy. No stale chips or junk that you don't really like. For instance, I ate some Cheezits this week, but I would not eat the stale pretzels, nor would I generally eat pretzels because I don't really love them. Save it for a piece of dark chocolate. And then break off as much as you want to eat before you start, and then just eat that much. No more. Enjoy it! You're eating chocolate! Don't worry about being deprived, because you can eat chocolate again tomorrow, and the next day, and as many days as you want to eat it on. But just eat a little. 
2. Ask yourself repeatedly during your s-l-o-w-l-y eaten meals whether you're still hungry, and when you are pleasantly full (not stuffed!), stop. Just stop. If you are worried about being hungry later, take one or two more bites and then stop. Then don't eat again till the next meal. Unless you have some kind of metabolic issue or are already seriously starving, you won't die from hunger. I promise!