So much to say.
The short of it is that I Porter and I separated, are in the process of divorcing, and I have moved in with my boyfriend E. This has taken the course of about a year.
I guess I don't have to divulge any more details than I wish. It's been a good life change for me. I feel more like myself than I have in years. I've had flashbacks to old feelings I haven't felt for years. I feel positive feelings often.
I'm trying to get rid of the guilt that plagues me. I've felt guilty single, guilt married and partnered. Guilty mostly for any happiness. I often feel like every moment of happiness, no matter how "innocent" or "good" is something I'm going to pay for with suffering. As a result it's been difficult for me to feel happy - certainly difficult to actually search it out for myself.
It's nice to just sit back and enjoy it when I feel happy. It's nice to try to figure out what makes me happy.
Maybe I'll blog more often. Though I do enjoy real life so much more than I used to, and sometimes public writing about it just doesn't do it. Call me. Let's talk and hang out :)
