"The Amazon Pool," or "It's a Small World"

If you are in Eugene (and have children!), you should visit the Amazon pool! It is huge -- much bigger than I had imagined. I've walked by in the past but I am not one for "playing" in the pool alone, and I prefer to swim laps if I'm just by myself at the pool. But anyway, it has four separate pools, some fountains, two water slides (Aftasie and I rode one! She loved it) and a kiddie area that's only 1' deep.

Aftasie and I went yesterday, since the sun finally came out and it was warm enough to go. She almost jumped into the pool in front of me and I had to run to stop her from drowning. Then when we went into the "gradient" side of the pool where it gets progressively deeper, she just ran in till she was over her head, and that incident did not stop her from continuing to walk in that direction, and she had the most fun bobbing up and down where it was high enough to come to her chin. Brave girl!

After we were there for a few hours, I looked over to the kiddie pool that we hadn't really been in yet and there was a woman sitting there with two children who looked familiar. I went over -- "Is it Elizabeth?" Sure enough, it was Elizabeth and her two boys from Mildly Amusing Musings, which I follow! To be fair, her husband is from Eugene, and I knew that, but she lives in Seattle now and I would have never imagined I'd just run into her while we were both on trips to Eugene! It was so fun to meet someone you know online randomly in person and we had some good conversation, while I wasn't running after Aftasie who kept trying to go in over her head. (Got to teach that girl how to swim, pronto!).

It's a small world, eh? :)

Housesitting

We are down in Eugene housesitting and it has rained. Every. Day. It's great, because it means I don't have to water the garden or lawn (the main reason I'm here!) but it also means we can't enjoy the spray park, only two blocks away, or go to the pool (we have free passes!). In the meantime, though, we've got rain gear and we've been walking all over town. It's GREAT to see Aftasie walking miles. Sometimes it takes (a lot of) encouragement, but she makes it without any signs of fatigue. Just signs of boredom :P Our newest thing is counting the sidewalk blocks, and she knows the faster she runs the faster I have to count, so that's a little incentive for her :) 

Has anyone watched Babies? I highly recommend it. Aftasie is in her, hm, 6th time watching it? It documents 4 babies in different countries from birth to first steps. It really is quite endearing and in a certain scene, while a baby is born, Aftasie exclaims "The baby came out of momma's belly!!" It's great also since she'll have a little sibling here before too long :) 

Speaking of which, 19 weeks today! I can't believe I'm almost halfway through. Nausea is completely over, thank God, and the baby is moving a lot :) I felt it from the inside a few days before 16 weeks, and then outside a few days after 16 weeks! Porter felt the baby around 17 weeks, which if I recall is a lot earlier than last time. I was surprised it took till 16 weeks for me to feel him/her, because it's the same time I felt Aftasie and I expected to feel this one much earlier. But anyway! I'm sooo happy to feel the baby move. It makes me happy every time. 

Also on the baby front, Aftasie and I are down to two nursing sessions a day. Kind of :\ and kind of :D! I've decided that for my sanity I'm only nursing her to go down for naps and to go down to sleep initially at night. And she's doing splendidly. She slept last night from 9 to 5am, which is pretty amazing! That is a full night sleep for me, really. She asks for milk initially and then I explain that she needs to go potty, that I'm going to get a cup of milk and a snack, and then we're both going to go back to sleep and she's perfectly OK with it. She doesn't always sleep those hours, but I'm excited to be going towards a full night of sleep fairly regularly till the baby comes. Of course, I have to get up and pee now, and I wake through the night anyway :P 

But honestly, nursing while you're pregnant does NOT feel anything like nursing when you're not pregnant (for me, anyway). It's been so jarring on my nerves and it doesn't feel like nursing anymore. It feels like she's just twiddling my nipples for however long she nurses, which is extremely annoying and just too much sensation for me. I'm really hoping that it is more comfortable when the baby comes (and I trust it will be) because I loved nursing while unpregnant, for the most part, but I really dislike it while pregnant :( Just being honest, here. I feel a little like a failure for not completely letting Aftasie self-wean and that I sometimes refuse to give her milk, and I just want to stand up and say that it IS extremely wearing and I am having a hard time nursing her now. It is good to me, though, that she doesn't cry about it or anything. She will ask twice sometimes, but usually I just explain what's happening and she says OK. 

Nightmares and stuff

Last night I had a dream in which I couldn't remember anything about nursing and I didn't even stay with my patient. Not quite a nightmare, but it was unsettling! 

The night before I had a nightmare about my parents. It's quite common, and it usually involves a rough scenario of what happened surrounding the time I left. I try not to judge my parents, but I still have to deal with what happened. Hopefully these will go away in time. If my parents are reading, I can only hope that they understand the trauma that was inflicted on me by this situation and their actions towards me. I also want them to know how happy I am with my choices, and that I'm grateful that they helped push me out of the house by being so radical. I just wish I'd done it sooner! It could have been a lot less traumatic all around. 

But anyway, that stuff is all so dark to think about. It's better to think about now, and freedom, and the joy that life brings when you are free to be. Aftasie being a vibrant, happy, free, and pleasant little person makes me so happy. 

What is so striking between myself and Aftasie is that at this age I would have had been spanked -- a LOT. My dad believed (believes? I haven't talked with him about it lately) that if you haven't "conquered a child's will by two years of age, they're lost forever to rebellion." This was done by spanking until the child obeys perfectly, even if it's a trivial thing and not dangerous to self or person, or anything like that. Aftasie has been spanked zero times and I am so relieved that I am free to parent the way I see fit. She is not a little demon. She is not bad. She is not even difficult to deal with, really. She reacts like a person because she is a person! We interact the way people do. 

The whole spanking thing, while I'm on this topic, really is so absurd if you just think about your dealings with another adult. Would you spank your neighbor because she won't do what you want? Your spouse? Would you "train" your spouse into eating his vegetables by spanking him until he eats them? Hahaha. How absurd!? Besides, breaking a person's will is simply unconscionable. 

Besides, where did spanking get me in my parents' scheme for me? Maybe they would say they just didn't spank me enough...